12/7/18
I spent 9+ months visualizing our future family of 5 and wondering/worrying about the chaos that would inevitably occur as we all adjusted to new routines worked around the demands of a newborn. While our once fairly-normalized routines have been utterly demolished, we're all doing alright! ....Minus my embarrassing and distinct mom-guilt moment the other day when I failed to recall the last time we bathed the twins. I said we're doing alright, we're far from perfection :) Our household is a crazy chaos-infested circus, a masterful juggling act by Derek and I, trying [failing often] to keep all of the 'balls' of our personal and professional lives in cadence. A missed bath here, another box of Kraft Mac & Cheese for supper there, you get the idea. When we had the twins, I had the belief and certainly the intention to perfect all aspects of my life. My newfound motherhood had to be perfect. My marriage had to be perfect. My house had to be perfect. And the list goes on. It didn't take long for me to recognize the falsified illusion of this being a possibility - not. a. chance! This was a large part of why my transition to motherhood with the twins was a bit more difficult than I had originally had planned for and I've worked hard at adjusting my mindset and expectations of myself as a person, wife and mother. We're all doing alright and it's because I'm not beating myself up over a missed bath or a nutrient-deficient meal. Some balls occasionally hit the ground and this time around, I'm prepared for it, I'm ok with it, and I'm confident enough to share the lack of perfection with whoever is reading this.
Now to highlight our little Oz.
Positives: *He is a crazy strong boy! Of course I knew this would be the case in naming him 'Oz' and am not surprised by this fact, but seriously, he's strong for a 1-month old! **He is feeding from Dr.Brown's bottles now with Level 2 flow - anticipating a Level 3 adjustment in the near future! ***And while we're giddy with anticipation for him to sleep solidly through the night, he is normally only waking a couple times in the night so we're thankful for that! ****His brother and sister ADORE him! And as much as I love their adoration for their little brother, I currently try my best to barricade these snotty, coughing, germ-covered 3-years olds from him - we can't risk him getting sick and us having to postpone the surgery date!
Concerns: *We are slightly concerned with lack of weight gain and have another weigh-in appointment this next week. Of course I want to plan for a positive outcome, but I am mentally prepared for a conversation involving supplementing my breastmilk with formula if extra calories are needed. I am not mentally prepared for conversations involving a g-tube (not uncommon with babies with clefts), but I don't think the severity is there for this to be a viable part of our conversation, at this point at least. **I am seeing more reflux and silent-reflux symptoms from Oz (also not uncommon for babies with clefts) and fear that our little guy is in pain after feedings. Of course I'm a licensed pediatrician (not) and this proclaimed diagnosis comes to you from Google (never a good thing) so will let the true professionals evaluate him and determine what, if anything, needs to be done. I will be asking about whether or not we need him to have a swallow study or should consider any reflux medications to prevent or reduce reflux symptoms. ***HUGE concern for Oz getting sick with winter showing us its true germy colors so boldly already. I make Rome & Winslet wash their hands so much that I won't be surprised if their epidermis gets rubbed off.
Our family of 5 is more precious than ever imagined, mass craziness and all.
I spent 9+ months visualizing our future family of 5 and wondering/worrying about the chaos that would inevitably occur as we all adjusted to new routines worked around the demands of a newborn. While our once fairly-normalized routines have been utterly demolished, we're all doing alright! ....Minus my embarrassing and distinct mom-guilt moment the other day when I failed to recall the last time we bathed the twins. I said we're doing alright, we're far from perfection :) Our household is a crazy chaos-infested circus, a masterful juggling act by Derek and I, trying [failing often] to keep all of the 'balls' of our personal and professional lives in cadence. A missed bath here, another box of Kraft Mac & Cheese for supper there, you get the idea. When we had the twins, I had the belief and certainly the intention to perfect all aspects of my life. My newfound motherhood had to be perfect. My marriage had to be perfect. My house had to be perfect. And the list goes on. It didn't take long for me to recognize the falsified illusion of this being a possibility - not. a. chance! This was a large part of why my transition to motherhood with the twins was a bit more difficult than I had originally had planned for and I've worked hard at adjusting my mindset and expectations of myself as a person, wife and mother. We're all doing alright and it's because I'm not beating myself up over a missed bath or a nutrient-deficient meal. Some balls occasionally hit the ground and this time around, I'm prepared for it, I'm ok with it, and I'm confident enough to share the lack of perfection with whoever is reading this.
Now to highlight our little Oz.
Positives: *He is a crazy strong boy! Of course I knew this would be the case in naming him 'Oz' and am not surprised by this fact, but seriously, he's strong for a 1-month old! **He is feeding from Dr.Brown's bottles now with Level 2 flow - anticipating a Level 3 adjustment in the near future! ***And while we're giddy with anticipation for him to sleep solidly through the night, he is normally only waking a couple times in the night so we're thankful for that! ****His brother and sister ADORE him! And as much as I love their adoration for their little brother, I currently try my best to barricade these snotty, coughing, germ-covered 3-years olds from him - we can't risk him getting sick and us having to postpone the surgery date!
Concerns: *We are slightly concerned with lack of weight gain and have another weigh-in appointment this next week. Of course I want to plan for a positive outcome, but I am mentally prepared for a conversation involving supplementing my breastmilk with formula if extra calories are needed. I am not mentally prepared for conversations involving a g-tube (not uncommon with babies with clefts), but I don't think the severity is there for this to be a viable part of our conversation, at this point at least. **I am seeing more reflux and silent-reflux symptoms from Oz (also not uncommon for babies with clefts) and fear that our little guy is in pain after feedings. Of course I'm a licensed pediatrician (not) and this proclaimed diagnosis comes to you from Google (never a good thing) so will let the true professionals evaluate him and determine what, if anything, needs to be done. I will be asking about whether or not we need him to have a swallow study or should consider any reflux medications to prevent or reduce reflux symptoms. ***HUGE concern for Oz getting sick with winter showing us its true germy colors so boldly already. I make Rome & Winslet wash their hands so much that I won't be surprised if their epidermis gets rubbed off.
Our family of 5 is more precious than ever imagined, mass craziness and all.
